INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!

Retweet this button on every post blogger A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy



Dear Tech Support,Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system



Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.



What can I do?



Signed,

_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Reply



DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:

ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause

Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,

DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend:

Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

Retweet this button on every post blogger A joke I received on e-mail, it's just a joke ladies, we know know you are smarter than this!

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set hand brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror...
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet...
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release hand brake....LOL

Abbas should apply for an Israeli Passport

Retweet this button on every post blogger This generation has lived log enough to see various manifestations of
defeatism in the spirit and actions of our "so-called leaders". We've
also read about conspiracies and policies solely aimed at protecting
regimes and thrones. Still, politicians had a sense of shame. Or maybe
political acumen which will prevent them from committing political
suicide! Not that it would matter, nor that it will affect their seats
and thrones, but to win some extra naïve heads amongst this
hibernating nation! And there are quite a few of them.

Abbas and his PA will go down in history as the first Palestinian to
authorize and bless the killing of fellow Palestinians by the Israeli
war machine. 1,400 deaths are not worthy of the lamest possible
support from his side.

He didn't do the invistagtion, the UN did. And as a shameful head of
the PA he Vetoed the only break the Palestinians had to prove to the
international community that the Israeli government is made of a bunch
of thugs and criminals.

I bet you that if the UN report concluded that the Palestinians "
through Hamas" were the ones to commit those atrocities he would have
thrown his support behind it.

It is such a sad thing to live to see such an embarrassment. If he
wants to save some face I suggest e applies for an Israeli passport
and get it over with.

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