Half-Baked Ideas: Life, Raising Kids, and Arab's Memory

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Of Life and Expectations.

Life happens in a very random way. It's somehow depressing yet refreshing to know that your plans will most likely fall apart. So my advice is never plan farther than a year or two. Don't assume or expect. Things and people change. Life twists and turns in weird ways. One of your best friends will be someone who you haven't seen for 10 years. People you had many things in common with will soon drift and others will replace them. Places you planned to settle in might be the places you send postcards to, and those you used to send to might be your new home.

Raising kids

This advice comes with a great deal of credibility. Mainly because I'm single and have no kids, and so, I'm free of all inhibitions and psychotic protective behaviors.

if you want your kid to be more successful than you are when he/ she grows up, as a rule of thumb, they should be different from you!

Unless you want them to be copy cats and bad re-runs, you should unleash them and let them do their thing in their own way. 

More successful means not the same as you are. It means different. 

On Arabs' Memory. 

 In general terms, Arabs don't have a big interest in their own personal history. Interestingly, we more than anybody else tend to retain the biggest stock of our cultural history, and in many cases take it with us, oh so romantically, to the grave.

We are not big on birthdays and anniversaries. We don't usually celebrate milestones, and we definitely have a thing against pictures. You are unlikely to find an Asian who doesn't have a dozen pictures of himself in the cradle, whereas you can find many Arabs who don't even remember how they looked when they were young.

It's probably a reflection of what's going on on the political scene in our era. We celebrate our long and glorious history, but we rarely take actions on our current events or celebrate our successes, if there was any to celebrate anyway!

Chapter 3: Jordanians " The Hair Shirts "

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THE HAIR SHIRTS


You need a Polo shirt, Diesel Jeans, Clarks shoes, and a Breitling. You need a BMW or an SUV, a BB, a so-called exquisite taste, and a 5-number car plate. These are the pre-requisites to the League of Extraordinary men and women. If you have the pre-requisites, then you're eligible for entry.
Self-haters who denounce everything around them. Jordanians by virtue of a document, and if given the chance they'll be anything but. They claim superiority to a world that fed them. They are disgusted by a nation that never stopped giving them. To them, this country can't do anything right. As the movie of the Jordanian life flickers before there eyes they fail to see anything but the black spots and the hidden signatures. They've succumbed to the notion that their survival stems from their distance from this society. They welcome foreigners with a cry for help. They'll bash everything they see to overcome their insecurities, and lack of self-respect.
they're overwhelmed with reality. Oblivious to the concept of classes. Everyone needs to be Upper Class. You need to get your morning coffee at Starbucks, watch your movies at Zara Center's, have your Shisha in Lemon, and NOT read your books in Books@cafe. You're unrecognizable to them if your net worth of apparel covering your body is less than 200 JD. They'll sing Odes of the wonders of the countries they visited, and compare it to the nothingness they see in Jordan. They have a soft spot for Lebanon. It's their best bid to achieve social immortality.
If you want to see them, look around you. They are the ones sitting on tables talking to each other in English, dropping a "ca va" every once in awhile. They are the ones staring at you, from the corner of their eyes, somewhere near the belt, for an eye contact with the masses hurts their superiority.
They love their version of Jordan. One in which they only see themselves. One in which everybody dines in a hotel and shops in a mall. One that breathes vanity and exists in their fantasy.
They have a keen interest in arts, but they can't tell the difference between a melody and a fart. They are the farthest there is from sophistication, but they definitely look the part. They are the parasites growing around ministers, and the country's blood-sucking sinisters. For them, narcissism is a religion, humility is fascism, and a nation is a minority of Gods and a majority of enslaved and ripe humans put there to glorify their mere existence. 
They dread the crawling of the easter Ammanites to their Green Zone. Down the years they retreated from Jabal Al Hussein, Jabal Amman, Shmeisani and Rabieh. They are still fighting for there lives in Sweifieh, while they still have a stronghold in Abdoun and Deir Ghbar! A counter attack has been recently launched at Jabal Amman, but it remains to be seen who will eventually prevail.
If you're rich, you're not necessarily one of them. However, you need to keep spotting yourself. As your humanity and your connection with reality is at stake. You have the choice. You can become superior by overcoming your superiority, or dwell in the hole of self-worship and shoot yourself to oblivion. To the dumpster of history.

Prophet Tiger, Terry The Star, and Sex Addicts!

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My Prophet, not!

I felt genuinely insulted, when Tiger Woods appeared on TV to apologize for his affairs and sexual exploits. This is not a joke. It was a completely condescending act. It insulted my intelligence, my self respect, and my overall outlook in life. Here is why;

I'm not sure who told this guy, or these media outlets that munched on the story for weeks that I cared that much. I also don't understand what gave those celebrities the impression that they were the prophets of our time, to come out and explain to us why they have sinned!

I have no interest in Golf. But let's assume that Lionel Messi or Paolo Maldini were the ones who cheated on their wives. My interest in those guys is purely because of their football skills, and is only centred around the football field. Whatever they do in their normal lives is absolutely irrelevant to me. In simple words, I don't give a damn. Using the same analogy, what Tiger does in his private life is his own business, and unless he considers himself a prophet like Mohammed, Jesus, Moses or Buddha, he shouldn't be apologizing. I don't use him as a model for how to deal with my wife. He is not my rule model when it comes to how to handle my financial affairs, love affairs, family affairs, or sexual appetite! It is so demeaning and insulting for someone to think that anyone should care what this guy does other than Golf. They should leave him alone. Let him work out the whole thing with his wife! We don't know the details and we shouldn't know. She might turn out to be a lesbian! Here is a reason for him to go an cheat. Bottom line we shouldn't care.

One last note on this subject. If he really thinks that he owes people an apology, then he must be the biggest narcissist in the universe.

I act like a star, and you're loving it! 

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, Another mega money earner, maker, and a football star fell in the same trap. Again, cheating on his wife. John Terry, England's and Chelsea's captain was exposed and it turned out that he was having an affair. Now, one smart feminist lady I know blasted that "whoever marries a footballer is an idiot". Coincidently, I read some readers' comments in some newspaper echoing the same sentiment. 

You see, the problem is that women will always go for stars. I bet you three months worth of my own salary that if Terry made a pass at a girl in a bar, a club or a restaurant the very next day this story was exposed, 5 out of 10 would've ended up hooking up with him. And that's me being very conservative. It's very straightforward, stars behave this way because girls entertain it. They're rich, successful and therefore they are desirable. I admire the idealistic sentiments of some of those with high self-esteem and belief in good things in life, but I wouldn't want you to be put into test. Because rest assured, you will falter and you will start orbiting around them like they were the only men left on earth.

If he manages to sort things out with his wife, then good for him. If he doesn't, then in no time you will find him holding another beauty queen and packing her with his underwear to South Africa for the World Cup. 

What's your excuse for being screwed up!

It so happened that I was lodging on my couch browsing the countless, useless, and mercilessly brain draining channels on my TV and I came across the most powerful man on earth's show, Oprah Winfrey. The show was about Sex Addiction. As you can imagine, we had on show three or four people, males and females, who are suffering from Sex Addiction. Brace yourself. Now, what was interesting about this episode is that every single one of those addicts had a back up story. Her father abused her. His father didn't play baseball with him. Her sister called her a nerd. Her mother drank like there was no tomorrow. And so, they developed this sad disease and became prostitutes and male whores. Then suddenly, the last guy said "I wasn't sexually abused as a youngster. My mother wasn't sleeping around. My father wasn't an alcoholic, and he played all the lovely American sports with me. I had a perfect childhood. I was a happy kid! But somehow I became a sex addict. Maybe I was just in love with sex!" No Back Up Story!

The moral of the story is; if you have a problem; if you steal, sleep around, drink, inhale, sniff, or pick you nose, it might just be you! Don't blame others. Don't look for an excuse. You screwed up. And so, you should sort it out and move on with your life. Get over yourself. You are not perfect, so you don't need to act like if you were. It's getting old and annoying hearing all these empty and jaw dropping excuses.

I'm done being grumpy for the day! Have a nice one.

The Hero of Our Time

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In a world where values are dwarfed into words on papers. In world where family has become a mere DNA connection. In a world where power over-powered love, lies masked truth, villains velified prophets, and harsh relaity killed the tiniest of dreams, we are in a dire need of a HERO! Someone who will restore our world back to what it was. 

Heroes are truely hard to find. They are made of a rare material. But they still exist. In our world, there is a hero for everyone of us! This hero never fails you. He/ She is always there to lift you up, and guide you through!

This video, should give you an idea

You can also find your HERO by clicking this link.

 http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1266277394875RA44

Chapter 2: Jordanians "THE WINGERS"

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THE WINGERS


In a world of superstars and celebrities those people take the different route of annonymity. They are socially outdated, and barely ever took a look at today's dictionary of Who's Who. They run through life with selfless dedication and make the best out of nothing. They're the ticking clock behind every functioning or barely functioning family, but life breezes past them like summer wind, and their unforgivable cluellessness is their only triumph.

They are deaf to The obscenely loud buzz of life, as somewhere along the line of their monochromatic life someone taught them that this is the best they're ever going to get. With an 80's hairstyle, and a 20JD- leather jacket they wake up everyday to do the same thing they did the day before. A weekend is for house shores. A picnic is a barbecue task on Airport road. Eid is family visits, and Jabal Al Hussein is the equal of the strip in L.A.

They pass by you like a Friday. As they exist, but to us we managed to strip them off every single meaning of spirituality. They've learned some 50 years ago that being a woman is a test. Being a man is an obligation. Work is routine, and life is a big greyscale scene.

They studied in public schools. They admire and resent those brats who graduated from schools usually referred to by 3-letter acronyms. Gel is as bad as Alcohol, and trendy Jeans are as sinful as thongs.

They roam the streets of East Amman and Every Jabal something during early evenings, wearing an empty look. Carrying a black plastic bag that is the only source of joy to that family. they are usually overwhelmed by how life left them behind. How their values are antiquities from the past, and how days move so freaking fast. They grow frustrated with the shadow they cast, but it's as far as the next morning that this feeling will last.

There pen is a stamp. They know how to guide you to the next office of that civil building with as few words as possible. they puff their cigarettes earth bound. They searched for their ambition but it's nowhere to be found. Unlike others, they usually underestimate themselves, but they compensate for that with their self-proclaimed high standard of morality.

They are the Janitors of a hospital. The infantry of a military. The traffic cops at intersections. The TA's in a faculty. The full backs in a football team. They play on the premises of the play. They walk at the edge of life. They are the wingers going forward and the guardians going back. They are the wings of a falcon. For without wings a falcon can't fly. But as he poses and stairs at you, those wings are held back. They just don't have the knack.

In their world, love is convenience, and respect is obedience. Fun is a travesty, and change is a tragedy. In their shells they are contained, writers, scientists, geniuses and hard workers! Unfortunately for the world, only few of them will ever break through that bottle knick called self esteem.

Outrageous Football, Outrageous Messi

Retweet this button on every post blogger Those who watched Barcelona's game against Getafe most probably will have noticed two lessons being taught to the whole world about skill and team work. A team that spent most of the game playing with 10 players, after Pique walked off the pitch red carded, managed to stay in control of a match against a highly organized and aggressive team like Getafe. 2-1 was the final result and this is a lesson Barcelona taught to the whole footballing world. 


On a more personal level, Lionel Messi have once more proved to the entire world that he is a genius and a star still rising at the age of 22. The first goal for Barcelona, which Messi scored, was a screamer! Not in the sense that it was a powerful shot, but simply because it was sublime. Perfectly executed, and almost impossible to imagine. Roberto Carlos goal in a friendly against France back in 1997 was hailed as one of the most beautifully taken free kicks! Well, in my opinion this goal is even better. Carlos scored his goal from a dead ball against a static wall using shear power to force the ball into that glorious curve. Everybody who was looking from Roberto's back thought that the ball was heading to the billboards behind the goal. Instead, the ball changed course in the air, struck the post and smashed right into the net. Messi's goal however, was scored in a less ideal circumstance. The ball was on the move, coming back from Toure. The forest of legs and bodies in front of him were swarming and heading towards him to try and close him down. Not to mention his own team mates who were still trying to recover from their positioning after the corner kick. 


A Work of Art


Just as Messi noticed that Toure managed to get his foot on the ball, he moved in to position himself well for a pass, and as the ball arrives he gloriously and without pausing unleashes, beautiful not powerful shot, almost with his heel that takes a perfect sidewise curve and evades every single player. There were 7 of them, then beats the keeper and settles in the back of the net. This is pure magic! Six minutes into the game and Barca were one up.





Roberto Carlos Goal against France in 1997





Messi's Goal against Getafe in 2010




Then, as the game ticks on, Messi receives a ball exactly at the halfway line from Xavi, faced by two players and a third trailing back to cover up, he does what he does best. He takes on them and shears the whole defence off their positioning dragging three defenders to his side leaving Xavi completely unmakred. You see, the fact of the matter is that when you defend against Messi you need to double up. No question about it. If you face him one on one, he will in 99% of the time brush you aside and go on with his life with not as much as a flinch! And so Getafe defenders, with the state of panic associated with Messi's presence on the ball,  had no other choice but to keep their radars locked on the marauding punisher, leaving Xavi with no coverage whatsoever. Messi, known for being totally unpredictable, slides the ball to Xavi who completes the move he started and buries the ball in the back of the net! 2-0. To their credit, Getafe never gave up and indeed managed to grab one back right at the death.





Xavi's Goals against Getafe,  assisted by Messi.


Jose Mourinho is well known for being one of the best managers in the world. He is also well known for his stinginess when it comes to praise, especially for those not on his team sheet. In messi's case in particular, Mourinho was tormented by him as a teenager during Chelsea's Champions league encounter, and " The Special One " had no other choice but to label Messi an actor. Still, as snobbish and self-centered as he is, Mourinho simply couldn't ignore Messi's talent. This is what he had to say about the Argentine genius: 


" The best way to stop Messi is when you play with 11 men and then you can double mark him, one player to stay on Messi and the other to help out. If it is 11 against 10 then you have almost no chance of stopping him "


In 2010, Messi already has 16 Goals and 8 assists in the Spanish Lega, topping both charts. The curve is still rising, and it's terrifying to think what he will do when he is 26 and having his best years. Messi is still growing as a goalscorer and a playmaker, and just a brief look at the table below, shows how magnificent his performance is for Barcelona. 

It remains to be seen though, how Maradona is going to utilize his abilities during the World Cup, for without any doubt, it's the only title Messi needs to take his place among the all-time legends of the game.