INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!

Retweet this button on every post blogger A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy



Dear Tech Support,Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0



In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.



Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system



Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.



What can I do?



Signed,

_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___

Reply



DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:

ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause

Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,

DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary,

Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend:

Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

Retweet this button on every post blogger A joke I received on e-mail, it's just a joke ladies, we know know you are smarter than this!

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set hand brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror...
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet...
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release hand brake....LOL

Abbas should apply for an Israeli Passport

Retweet this button on every post blogger This generation has lived log enough to see various manifestations of
defeatism in the spirit and actions of our "so-called leaders". We've
also read about conspiracies and policies solely aimed at protecting
regimes and thrones. Still, politicians had a sense of shame. Or maybe
political acumen which will prevent them from committing political
suicide! Not that it would matter, nor that it will affect their seats
and thrones, but to win some extra naïve heads amongst this
hibernating nation! And there are quite a few of them.

Abbas and his PA will go down in history as the first Palestinian to
authorize and bless the killing of fellow Palestinians by the Israeli
war machine. 1,400 deaths are not worthy of the lamest possible
support from his side.

He didn't do the invistagtion, the UN did. And as a shameful head of
the PA he Vetoed the only break the Palestinians had to prove to the
international community that the Israeli government is made of a bunch
of thugs and criminals.

I bet you that if the UN report concluded that the Palestinians "
through Hamas" were the ones to commit those atrocities he would have
thrown his support behind it.

It is such a sad thing to live to see such an embarrassment. If he
wants to save some face I suggest e applies for an Israeli passport
and get it over with.

--

More than 40000 people are over 100 years old

Retweet this button on every post blogger Japan has decided to teach the world another lesson in survival, after the rise from WWII Hiroshima and Nagasaki’s inhuman attacks, they stood up, dusted themselves, worked really hard to come back as the world’s second biggest economy, but they didn’t stop there, they worked on their health also to stun the world with probably the healthiest people on earth (I don’t have any studies about that but it’s not so hard to figure it out), they have more than 40000 people over the age 100 years.

“TOKYO – The number of Japanese centenarians has doubled in the past six years to a record high of more than 40,000, with women dominating the list of those whose lives have spanned more than a century, the government said Friday.

Japan will have 40,399 people aged 100 or older this month, surpassing the previous record of 36,276 last year, the Health and Welfare Ministry said in an annual report marking a Sept. 21 national holiday honoring the elderly. More than 86 percent are women.

The number of centenarians in Japan has risen at an accelerating pace for nearly 50 years. The centenarian population surpassed 10,000 just 10 years ago, reached 30,000 in 2007 and grew another 10,000 in the past two years, the ministry said.
By 2050, Japan's centenarian population is expected to reach nearly 1 million, according to the U.N. projections.”

And why is that? The answer is below...

“Officials have stepped up programs that encourage older citizens to stay active and continue working. The government is gradually extending the retirement age to 65 from 60, and some advocate pushing it further to 70.

Japan has one of the world's longest life expectancies — 86 years for women and 79 years for men.”

Yes, the answer is work, we are fighting to lower the retirement age, because we don’t want to work, we want to sit there and die peacefully, they want to die in the field, working and producing, being useful, we want to import everything, we don’t want to invent we want to buy the ideas (and buy we I mean Arabs who live in the Arabic countries, ironically, those who live in other parts of the world are fine).

I’m not saying that we are stupid, not at all, we are not, we are just too scared to injure our brains if we think, because work is not part of our culture anymore, although in the past it was the center of our lives.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090911/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_centenarians
By MARI YAMAGUCHI, Associated Press Writer

09.09.09

Retweet this button on every post blogger

The date 09.09.09 is now an important day in the history of the Arab nation, it’s the launching day of Dubai Metro, the first modern train in the gulf region.

Celebrating this day was a must on every Arab who lives in the gulf region; it shows that we are capable of adapting new and modern ideas, and as always Dubai is the pioneer in this, always giving us the hope that we can rise and take the place that we deserve on earth, giving us the hope that we might one day advance from the third world to the first world, the way we were before.

So, I was happy in that day and glued myself to Dubai One TV because I didn’t know when the ceremony will start, waiting waiting waiting,..., and finally it started, and what a shame, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, the officials were speaking English and there was no Arabic translator, I couldn’t believe it when an Egyptian reporter asked his question in Arabic, he got the answer in English, and to be fair, not good English, the English of a beginner, nothing professional in it,....

Why Dubai, why couldn’t you do it in Arabic and provided translators to the most important languages? What is wrong with speaking your own language?

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOOK LESS CIVILIZED IF YOU SPEAK ARABIC, or at least learn to speak good English.

Photo was taken by (Ali Haider / EPA / September 9, 2009)

The best Arabic TV show ever made

Retweet this button on every post blogger Khawater is a TV show that compares between Japan and the Arab world, in terms of life style.

This programme shows on MBC1 at 15:15 GMT, and I can say without even thinking about it that this show is the best show ever shown on TV in Ramadan, and probably the best Arabic TV show ever made.

Why am I saying that? It’s because I stopped watching TV about 3 years ago (apart from sports and news) because simply I lost any hope that the Arabic media will one day make a show or a documentary that will prove to be useful, they don’t want to, they just want to be like Melody Hits or the other prostitution channels we have on our great NileSat.

This show is the best because the presenter shows the truth, no compromise, no “ass kissing”, he simply is answering the question that every Arab has asked themselves one day, why does all the world call us the 3ed world? Or maybe a more direct question, why are all the others better than us?

The answer is simple, just watch one episode of this show and you will know.